Having an existential crisis?
Feeling life is meaningless? Like you have no purpose and that everything is akin to the bottom of an empty whisky glass? As if life and love have lost the color that once made them so appealing?
Congratulations!
You’re probably having an existential crisis, however despite how disconnected you may feel right now:
This is not a bad thing!
In fact what you’re experiencing is less of a existential crisis and more of a
Existential opportunity.
By the end of this article, you’ll not only understand why but look at the disconnect you’re feeling at the moment in a completely different way!
Let’s jump into it!
What is an existential crisis?
An existential crisis is a period of intense questioning and uncertainty about the meaning and purpose of life. It can be a deeply unsettling and distressing experience that can affect a person’s mental and emotional well-being.
What are 6 symptoms of an existential crisis:
- Feelings of meaninglessness or emptiness
- Loss of purpose or direction in life
- Difficulty making decisions or finding motivation
- Increased feelings of anxiety or depression
- Difficulty finding enjoyment in activities or relationships
- A sense of disconnection from oneself or others
An important thing to understand is that most people feel like this at some point or another during their journey, often more than once, and for different reasons.
Let’s explore some of those reasons
7 Causes of an existential crisis:
- Life-altering occurrences such as loss or trauma.
- Personal values and beliefs that differ from one’s expectations.
- Fear of death and pondering the meaning of life.
- A lack of purpose in life.
- Searching for truth and answers to profound questions.
- Incongruities between one’s own values and those of their society or culture.
- Psychological disorders such as depression or anxiety.
Basically, an existential crisis can be triggered by anything that makes you question your reality. As humans, we live in a world of subjectivity, the individual variation in our existence makes up our worldview, which is usually structured around our ego.
What is our ego?
The Ego can be defined as a holder of our personal identity, what we call a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
It is the part of us that acts and reacts to the physical and social world. The part that remembers, evaluates, plans, and responds
If you enter the world of psycho-analytics, the ego plays a large role in determining our sense of self, and how we react to the world around us and can be split into different types, both conscious and subconscious, which you can read about here on Wikipedia.
What does my ego have to do with my existential crisis?
An existential crisis only occurs when the ego is shaken or shattered
To the part of us that believes that our current self is the entirety of who we are, this is an almost unbearable sensation and usually occurs when the reality around us has changed in such a way that we are no longer able to hold firm the beliefs we based our identity around.
We can call this a little death of self.
When we experience this, our life no longer makes sense. Everything we have done suddenly seems meaningless, it can even go so far as to make us believe that everything we will ever do will be just as meaningless, which completely kills motivation and drive!
Luckily, this is something almost everyone experiences at some point or another, and with the right knowledge and outlook, it’s pretty easy to fix!
How to overcome an existential crisis
If we conclude that an existential crisis stems from changes in the way we see the purpose of our existence, then logically, the way to resolve it is to find a new set of beliefs, that better match your new outlook.
The only constant in life is change, and we only really suffer existentially when we are unable to adapt and reject these changes.
To help us overcome this, accept the changes, and find new purpose, we will be looking at three things:
- What the world expects us to do.
- A few harsh truths about reality.
- How we should really deal with it.
Let’s jump straight into it, and look at:
How the world expects us to deal with it
None of these are bad pieces of advice, in fact, most of these are really good practices and can make a big difference by helping you process your feelings and provide the frame of mind needed to grow into a better version of yourself.
5 things that can help during an existential crisis:
- Seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional
- Engage in activities that bring you meaning or purpose, such as volunteering or pursuing a hobby
- Reflect on your values and beliefs, and consider how they may be influencing your sense of purpose
- Practice self-care, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising
- Seek out resources or support groups that can help you explore your feelings and work through the crisis
These all provide channels through which you can alleviate the strain and pressure you feel, and in some ways distract you long enough to allow you to process and readapt.
Unfortunately, they are all roundabout fixes and with the exception of reflection, none of them get to the crux of the problem or solution.
To do that, we need to first look at:
Some harsh truths about life
Before we can turn an existential crisis, into an existential opportunity, we need first look at the nature of reality, and life in an objective way. This means detaching from our preconceived experiences and considering a few things that conventionally would not be considered pleasant conversations.
Quoting Loa Tzu:
“Pretty words are never sincere, sincere words are never pretty”
Let’s look at
10 Harsh truths about life:
- You are going to die:
So are your parents, your lovers, your friends, and everyone else you’ve ever met. - You will experience other types of loss and suffering too.
You won’t succeed at everything you try, you will lose friends and lovers. - People will disappoint you:
All of us are selfish, even you. - You cannot control everything:
The more you try, the bigger your crisis will be. - Reality is not fair:
While our governments might constitute human rights, the universe doesn’t owe you anything, and bad things can and will happen to good people. - You will make mistakes, lots of them:
There is no perfect solution to every problem, and this is going to prove itself to you over and over again until hopefully, you learn to work around it or die. - Institutions are corrupt:
Governments, religions, and almost every social institution you come across, and If you can’t see their dark side, you are likely part of the corruption and being sheltered by their ambitions - Falling down is easy, getting up is hard:
It is so easy to slip and fall down in life, but finding the motivation to get up and back on the right track is many times harder. - You will have to make tough decisions:
This could be personal or professional, however, it’s guaranteed to be a reoccurring situation in your life. - There was never a point to existing in the first place:
Almost every religion will try to tell you otherwise, but this is mostly because it satisfies a desire we have within ourselves to be part of a greater plan. The truth is, while you are part of the bigger picture, it’s up to you to create that plan.
These are not here to break you down, but rather to give you some perspective. If you are currently going through an existential crisis, then sticking your head in the sand and playing ostrich is not going to fix it, and you will need to face and accept these facts if you want to be able to break free from the crisis and find your opportunity.
That said, while it’s important to recognize that life can be difficult and that we all face challenges and setbacks, it’s also important to try to maintain a sense of balance and perspective.
It’s okay to acknowledge the hardships of life, but it’s also important to remember that there are also many joys and positive experiences to be had.
How we should really deal with an existential crisis
With serenity, courage, and wisdom!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr, Lutheran theologian (1892–1971)
There are many things in life you can’t control, but the narrative you tell yourself is not one of them. The power of personal belief has the ability to turn people into the greatest of monsters or the holiest of saints and influences the choices and actions they take throughout life.
The sheer fact that you are going through an existential crisis in the first place is an indicator of personal growth.
It was probably not something you chose that forced you to change, but it is an opportunity nonetheless. Most of us spend our lives, living in constant fear of the unknown, and are only too happy to fit into the comfortable predefined roles that are presented to us, but that is what leads to the crisis in the first place.
When we don’t think for ourselves, somebody else will think for us.
Horror vacui
or in English
Nature abhors a vacuum!
The same is true with purpose, if you don’t find a purpose for your own existence, society and the world around you will do it for you, but it will never truly be your purpose, and it might not be a very good one.
This is the true key to:
Turning an existential crisis into an existential opportunity
Depression and existential crises run hand in hand. Both are signs that your soul is unhappy with the character you’ve been playing.
It is exactly because of this that I congratulated you at the start of this post. While it feels like a crisis, it is actually an opportunity for self-awareness, and an opportunity to replace the values and beliefs you’ve been holding on to that have brought you to this point.
You always have choices in the matter, and if certain beliefs or values or doing you harm, the best choice you can make is to face them, then replace them with ones that serve you!
To do this you need to do three things:
3
Take these steps and apply them to your life!
We can help you figure out how to do it, but the actual application is something you need to do for yourself. Just as the nature of the crisis is deeply personal, so is the process of turning it into an opportunity, and it’s reliant on personal accountability and direct action based on what you choose to value!
To create a purpose there must be a need for it, however, once we’ve created one for ourselves it takes over and becomes a beacon that provides us with drive and motivation.
By understanding that life never really had a point in the first place, and replacing the beliefs you now know to be wrong, you are using your crisis as an opportunity to create something meaningful for yourself.
and in exchange
Once you’ve created your own purpose, life will never feel pointless again
Take a deep breath and smile
You’ve got this!
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