Welcome to the Things Learned After Thirty Relationship and Communication Library

This collection of books will have you mastering everything from body language to seduction.

And soon you will be starting every negotiation with “No” and mastering communication in both your personal and business life!

Secrets of Relationships and Communication: the Top 15 Books for Building Strong Connections

Secrets of Relationships and Communication: the Top 15 Books for Building Strong Connections

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The 15 best books to improve relationships and master communication

This is the perfect book to start with if you are looking into learning more about communication, while looking for some of the very best tips and techniques to overcome your anxieties and communicate effectively.

It also teaches one of life’s most important lessons – You are either a Big cat or a Small cat, and Small cats don’t know they’re small cats. While Big cats only roll with Big cats and are easily able to distinguish between the two. To find out how to become a Big cat, you’re going to want to read this book.

There are many forms of communication. While all of them can be applied to paint a picture of the whole it is nice to have a book that really zones in on a particular field and gives you the perfect examples to practice while you integrate those skills into daily life.

Simply said is this type of book.

It will not only teach you the skills required to become an excellent communicator but also teach you how to apply them to get the desired effect from your actions.

How to win friends and influence people is one of the most foundational and interesting books that you will come across when looking into improving the way you communicate. 

Dale Carnegie teaches us how to navigate social and corporate waters, getting to where we want to be without treading on toes and breeding resentment from those we pass along the way. As one of the first books of its genre, it’s surprising how relevant it has remained despite the changing of times. 

It only goes to prove that as long as there is communication taking place, these principles will remain essential tools for mastering life. 

Need a cheat sheet? This short little book from Jim Rohn, inspiration and mentor to even to some of the most prolific and effective communicators out there, including Tony Robbins is one of the greatest self-help and communications coaches there ever was.

 It can be completed in less than 30 minutes and will provide you with a fantastic outline of the governing principles needed to become an effective speaker, writer, and overall communicator.

There is no form of communication more effective than the art of storytelling and that is the reason it’s considered art. This book not only explains why we get immersed in stories but also breaks down how to tell them effectively, in ways that grasp attention while getting your point across.

You can have all the knowledge in the world, but if you aren’t able to present it in a way that will get people to listen, it becomes worthless. Learn how to present your stories and arguments and watch a new world unfold in front of you.

A book that cuts through a lot of the bullshit you find in many contemporaries within the same field. Celeste Headlee explains the importance of verbal communication, but also shows us how to show up for the conversation, check our biases, and determine the results we seek from each interaction before entering into it.

 Reading this book will help you better prepare for many of life’s inevitable challenges and even teach you how to gain the upper hand and grow from them by arming you with the knowledge you need to get to the conclusions you want.

Adding onto the theme of storytelling presented earlier, here we have a deep dive into the nature of love and the stories we tell ourselves. Mandy Len Catron provides some fascinating insights into the biology and psychology of why we love, that will provide you with a great understanding of the deeper parts of your motivations and shed some light on the processes involved. 

If you haven’t tried the experiment “To fall in love with anyone, do this” and tried the 36 questions that lead to love then I strongly recommend you check it out, if you have, this book will build on that experience and broaden your perspective on friendships, relationships and the different types of love even more.

When it comes to communication our visual interpretation is actually a substantially better gauge than its audial counterpart and most of what we communicate is actually unsaid. 

This is likely because it’s a lot harder to lie with the body than it is with words. A solid understanding of Non-verbal communication cues will grant you access to a previously hidden world, one where most people don’t speak the language very well, meaning that even a small success in this field will open doors and secrets for you that would otherwise have remained completely undiscovered. 

What every BODY is saying is a great introduction to this world and will serve you well for the rest of your life.

Now that you’ve got a basic understanding of how body language comes into play it’s time to become a little more refined. 

You say more than you think takes a much more detailed look into the nuances of body language and will provide that extra refinement that those of you looking to truly master the art of body language. 

This is a definite must if you are aiming to distinguish yourself from the pack when it comes to the land of non-verbal communication.

This is one of my personal favorite books! The biggest component of becoming a good communicator is becoming a good listener, the kind that is able to show empathy, understanding, and patience. That is able to put their retort or reply on ice until they have taken in and absorbed what the other person has to say. 

There are very few people that will be able to better relay the mindfulness required to become an echo chamber for people to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with you than a Zen master like Thich Nhat Hanh and more than that, be able to relay the compassion and understanding necessary to truly make a difference in your life as well as the lives of others.

Nice guys finish last. This is an old saying with more truth in it than we realize. Being too agreeable and giving in to other people’s wants and demands simply because it appeases the status quo of the environment you are in, is usually the easiest way to get absolutely nothing you want from life.

This book will teach you how to set boundaries, be more assertive, and most importantly say no without feeling bad. While a large part of communication is the ability to be empathetic and the art of listening to others, the opposite is also just as relevant. 

There will be situations and circumstances where you need to disregard what they think of you in order to be able to speak freely and grow into an effective communicator, this book will help teach you how and when to do that.

Seek first to understand, then be understood. While maintaining a broader theme of self-development than most of the other books on this list.

 The seven habits of highly effective people have some of the most important communication lessons there are contained within. 

It looks into the mindset required to solve problems and more importantly, how to conduct yourself in a manner filled with fairness, honesty, and integrity, all of which will pave the way to becoming the best communicator you can.

What is great seduction? Is it the ability to conquer hearts and skirts like Casanova or perhaps the ability to conquer powerful men and empires like Cleopatra? 

Robert Greene takes us through a journey of self-discovery in the form of defense against the dark arts lecture as we find discover how to use our powers of persuasion and manipulation to navigate our desires in the games of lust and love. This is the book to read if you wish to understand relationships and attraction.

This book should be titled smart communication for dumb people. Former FBI negotiator Chris Voss takes us through some very real-world, easy-to-understand examples of what good communication is. 

He teaches how to use emotional intelligence in the simplest of ways that really unclutter the topic for anyone that has an overanalyzing mind. 

The difference between somebody replying with “that’s right” and “you’re right” can be the difference between life and death, though you will be shocked to see how relevant it remains in the simple interactions of daily life. A real must-read!

Do you think a win-win situation is really a win? If you do, as I did, then you need to read this book. Jim Camp takes things to a whole new level with Start with no, providing a truly in-depth dive and pragmatic breakdown of the various steps involved in a successful negotiation. 

He teaches you how to maintain frame and control emotions while clearly defining purpose and expectation before taking action. 

Starting each new phase or interaction with a “blank slate” will ensure you are the one in the position to be the one deciding what is fair in the aforementioned “win-win” scenario and how the parties walk away from each other.

Combined these books provide you with everything you need to not only master communication. but to practically apply it to your relationships!

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